Lots of Facebook Friends, Few Real Relationships

Why are people so committed to growing their stuff, their money, their careers, and settling for average, shallow, even vanilla relationships? Having thousands of Facebook friends does not mean you excel in relationships. I can’t think of a better example of where many are at then John and Kate Gosselin whose shows intro always concluded with “we are in together, it is our life.” So why do we struggle to love others and grow high quality, deep relationships that can stand through time and challenges?

Honestly it isn’t always the big things that cause the biggest problems, sometimes it is the simplest things that cause the greatest annoyance and friction like:
-toothpaste tube squeezed incorrectly
-towels left on the floor
-hair clogging sinks or showers
-checks that did not get logged in the register
-claiming total control of the TV remote
-junk left in the car
-empty salt shakers
-milk container put back in the fridge that are empty

It is a dumb list but have you ever found yourself fussing at one another?

If we had 30 days to live, our priority would definitely be on building a lot more bridges then walls. There is only one place Jesus gives us a new command when he says in John 13:34-35, “I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other.”(John 13:34-35)
I look at that and say what is new about it? Love one another is an Old Testament concept. The difference here is that it isn’t loving how “I want to be loved,” or “how I think you should love,” it is “love as I (Jesus) have loved you.” It is new in its level of sacrifice and other centered focus. The early church of Acts took it very seriously; they were radical in their response to love completely.

So why are we hanging out in the valley rather than climbing the summit by loving completely? There are many roadblocks but one of the biggest ones is misunderstandings. Things were going so smoothly then what happened? Opposites seem to attract, but then most of the time they attack (Kerry Shook). You reached out to help; they thought you were being nosy. You figured you would always understand each other, and now you are in separate corners of the ring. You must realize that differences of opinion are natural and inevitable parts of every relationship. We can’t read other people’s minds, no matter how much alike we may be. We’re all human, so miscommunication and misinterpretations are inevitable. It can spell the death of a relationship.

The roadblocks of selfishness are also just as large a hurdle to overcome. It is human nature to want to meet our own needs before we meet the needs of others. It creates a huge obstacle….my children in small issues parity life as adults. As we have had to set up systems in who gets the front seat in the car, what chair they get for supper, and who gets to play the video game at what time. Me-first attitude is an easy thought pattern to get into that creates a wall to love completely.

Perhaps the largest barricades to overcome are the offenses we have built up in our heart. All of us at one time or another have been hurt by someone’s comments, been cheated, or wronged. It is easy to build a wall. Proverbs tells us “A brother offended is harder to win then a walled city.” It can poison relationships forever. We must learn to channel our anger in the right way or we will find ourselves embittered and hard.

Good news we can overcome all that to love as Christ loved us, by beginning to learn to accept one another. Romans 15:7-8 (NCV) “Christ accepted you, so you should accept each other, which will bring glory to God.” The word accept has the idea of “strong action toward us” God literally came to us and took hold of us while we were yet sinners. By that act of acceptance, he released grace in us and it transforms us, bringing glory to God.

Acceptance by its very meaning means stop trying to change someone and start cherishing them. I can honestly say I spent my first years of marriage trying to change my wife and I can now say it was 100% ineffective. I can’t recommend it. We are not God nor are we the Holy Spirit; and when we try to be, we just don’t do a very good job at it. I have noticed the more I accept the differences, the more I am able to connect with those closest to me. Plus the greater the connection, the greater room we give God to work because we get out of the way.

So how about beginning right now from the heart ask God to help you truly accept those closest to you.