An Action that can change your Reactions, Feelings, and Relationships

If there was one action that could change my feelings and my relationships that one action simply put would be to love. Lots of times I hear people say “I’m not feeling it,” or “I am not in love with them anymore.” The only problem with that is that love is not a feeling, it is a commitment. Jesus told His disciples to love as I have loved you…stay committed to love. If those disciples would have been our disciples we probably would have dumped them or given them the right boot of fellowship. Jesus demonstrates commitment by choosing to love even when it’s hard

George Crane, newspaper columnist and minister, tells of a wife who was full of hatred toward her husband. She came into his office saying, “I not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even.” She went on “before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has hurt me.”

Crane suggested an ingenious plan: “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.”

With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, “Beautiful! Beautiful! Will he ever be surprised?”

And she did it with enthusiasm, Acting “as if she loved him” for 2 months, she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing.

When she didn’t return, Crane called her. “Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?”

“Divorce!” she asked “Never! I discovered I really do love him.” (Leadership, 1983)

Her actions had changed her feelings. Motions resulted in emotion. Feelings won’t come back by doing nothing. Those feelings will never return until you start acting in a loving way.

1 Corinthians 13:8 simply says “Love never fails.” Think of the word never…he says choosing to love will work 100% of the time. How many products can give you that kind of guarantee? If you are finding it hard to love… I encourage you to reach out for His grace. He resists the proud, but He will give grace to the humble. As you lean on His power and not your own, He will help you to love even when it is so incredibly difficult.